April was such a full month, not busy, full. It was equal parts exhilarating and stretching, certainly not a breeze but closer to healing and so many moments of hope were had. As I wrote last time, I'm at the in-between place. I think much of life could be described as the in-between but some seasons more so than others, I suppose the in-between is actually the journey. When I was really sick I was in the healing, the waiting, the having to practice faith minute by minute. Now here I am, my energy having gone from 50% to maybe 70%. It's amazing what even a small increase can do for your hope and sense of well being. Yes, I still have a ways to go but man that small leap sent me joyfully into life a little more fully than before!
I'm an aries, aries tend to charge through life with huge enthusiasm. I used to feel bad about this, I thought I needed to be more staid, more slow in moving forward. It never helps to feel bad about something. Now I'm seeing maybe I can just accept this part of myself at face value with a lightness of soul and willingness to readjust when things don't always go my way. I breath easier with that kind of perspective. Kindness to self, it's always a win, win.
So, here I am readjusting. California was fully in the works for June, my currant job was slated to end in May, I almost had all my finances lined up for a big move and I was feeling balanced enough to handle the stress that comes along with change. I felt set on leaving in June, I didn't want to endure one more rainy month in the Pacific Northwest! But unexpectedly one of the big links in my financial preparedness fell through and I had to come to terms with the fact that to leave when I had hoped would mean a massive amount of stress trying to force things to happen. If my health was fully recovered I could probably handle the additional stress but it's not and I can't risk putting myself in a hole just because I'm attached to a certain time line.
Mt. Baker- getting out and about in the Pacific Northwest.
So, here's to summer, to readjusting with as much joy and ease as possible and staying alive to the new possibilities each day offers!